Pre-op I was a confident person, but I also let people take advantage of me. I didn't fight back when my (now ex) said something hurtful, or when people talked bad about me, because as much as I thought I was fabulous, I didn't want to lose my friends, or my relationship. I was willing to put up with people treating me badly, because I felt like I couldn't get more friends or another relationship.
Now, all of that has changed. My new body (hello small size women's from Urban Planet!) has brought me new thoughts. I am still as fabulous as I was before, just smaller. I am still as bubbly as before, just in a smaller package. I still have the same acne scars, the same emotions (ok maybe a bit more mood swings), as well as the same love of books, music and COFFEE. Now... however, I do not tolerate bull shit. I have come a loooong way (3 months post op, down 74 pounds from July 2014). I have worked my ass off, changed my diet, exercise and am working on my mental health now too.
Mental health is something the Bariatric Center here (Windsor) puts only a small amount of focus on, but, I feel it should be a much bigger focus. You cannot be physically healthy if you are not mentally healthy, and vice versa. To understand this I point to my past: I liked myself, I thought I was rather pretty, I knew I was intelligent, quick witted, and sharp tongued, and I liked that.... BUT (yes big but there), I still let people mistreat me, because I felt, as a fat person, that I would lose people if I stood up for myself. The fact is, I have lost those people, and I am better for it. Your best friend, big, or little, thick or thin, is YOU.
Yesterday (Sunday Sept 13), I brought my 9-year old sister swimming, the private changing room was full, so I just started changing where all the lockers are... Really I don't mind it, we're all ladies anyways, and frankly, boobs exist. We all have 'em. Anyhow, a woman was in the change room (door open) and had asked me how I lost so much weight (74lbs hell yeah!) So I told her, I had bariatric surgery, and made the changes pre-op.
She said, "My doctor keeps referring me to the program in Michigan, but I don't want to change, my boyfriend likes me as I am... He call's me fluffy."
That actually upset me. "The surgery is NOT about what your BOYFRIEND likes. It is about what makes you happy. Do you want to be able to come here, and climb those stairs up to the watersides without feeling like you are about to have a heart attack?" was my reply.
You climb the 5 flights of stairs, up to the top, and you start to lose your breath part way there. You get to the top and you feel like you are sweating, you are so happy that the line is long, because it will give you some time to stop shaking with exertion before you have to go down the Python.
She looked at me, stunned and said, "That's exactly what happens..." I know. Believe me I know. July 2014 I was 293 pounds, I'm not yet under 200, but I will be. The surgery is never about what other people want, it is about what you want, and what you need.
But the key here was it is about YOU. What you want. What YOU need. If other people, family, friends, lovers, co-workers cannot see that you are doing this surgery, or diet, or whatever you are doing to better yourself, for YOU, then they are the problem. Not you. This journey is about you, not your husband/wife/partner/friends/family/children/aunts/uncles/cats/dogs. This journey is yours to make, and if the people in your life can support that, great. If not, then they are dead weight, that is easy to shed as you travel down this new path. Make your own choices, for you.
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