Your fibro will go away they said...

They lied.

In fact my fibro is far worse than it has ever been in my life, but now, I have no way to even help manage the pain, the brain fog, the tender points that make a physical relationship difficult.... The lack of sleep, the constant unending agony of daily life. "It's not instant" they said, well that's great, I am not expecting instant, but I certainly was NOT expecting worse.

I have put in a request to see a rheumatologist, but who knows when that will happen. In the meantime, I don't know how long I can handle this. Something has got to give, and I'm afraid it might be me.

Brusies and shrinking boobs...

Two things I've never had, small breasts and bruisable skin. I never visibly bruise. I'm one of those invisible bruisers.... You know the kind who forgets they hurt themselves until you lightly brush the area and then they whimper like school children? Yeah I'm that person, or at least I was.....

The purpose of this post? Not to whine or complain, but to stress the importance of BLOOD TESTS after surgery. Your iron levels with drop, along with everything else. With low levels of everything, comes bruises, hair loss, exhaustion, muscle loss, inability to concentrate, and much much more. Now I go for my blood tests in less than two weeks, but with all of the new issues popping up, I know what will be low. KEEP ON TOP OF YOUR BLOOD LEVELS, get checked regularly, and if in doubt, don't be afraid to ask for more tests.

Onto the boob shrinkage... TMI, yes I know, but to me this is an important topic. I love(d) my breasts. I mean really, I've had them since puberty (age 7), they've been with me everywhere. They've caused back problems, but given me pillows when sleeping upon my stomach.... They've threatened to suffocate me if I slept upon my back, and made running the most painful thing since stepping on Lego's barefoot; but truly, the shrinking is TERRIFYING. When you wake up one day and notice that all of your bras are TOO BIG..... that you could fit padding and push up stuff inside of your bra WITH your breasts is a scary experience (ok maybe it's just me).... We all have to get used to the shrinking FAST, and the way I'm dealing is giving all of my bras to my mum, who could use some pretty bras, and adopting sports bras.... (Yeah sports bras, should NOT be called that, because running is the WORST in a "sports" bra, as is jumping rope, climbing or doing anything that causes the breasts to move.....) These will stretch or shrink with my body (I'm crying here), and make it so I'm not wasting a crap ton on new bras that will only fit for about a week.

You will shrink, even if the numbers on your scale don't shift, your muscles and fat will shift and give you a new body shape... You may miss the comfort, or take joy in the changes, but whatever you do, stay on the path. You've got this!

P.S. thanks for letting me cry about mah boobs <3

10 Weeks Tomorrow

...and it seems everyone but me is noticing a difference. I see nothing different, aside from dry skin, dry hair, dry nails, and super flappy arm skin. I'm eating pretty much anything (in super tiny amounts) except for breads, pasta and rice (that stuff is NOT easy on the pouch at all)... with only a few minor set backs...

 As a kid, right after trick or treating, did you hide out (in a fort) and eat all the candy you could? Then end up with horrible stomach pain, chills, and maybe even start puking? Yeah, well that's what it's like now... and only one teeeeny little teaspoon can make the difference.

Tea. I LOVE tea, but I made the mistake of letting someone else make my tea the other day... and that moment, I was introduced to DUMPING SYNDROME.

Yeah, I use big red font, because dumping syndrome is NOT fun. It sounds pretty gross, and feels pretty gross too... Symptoms differ from person to person, but everyone (bariatric patient or not) has a chance of experiencing it. Here's a list of the symptoms:

• A feeling of fullness, even after eating just a small amount.
• Abdominal cramping or pain.
• Nausea or vomiting.
• Severe diarrhea.
• Sweating, flushing, or light-headedness.
• Rapid heartbeat.

Ok so the fullness after small amounts is common after surgery.... I didn't get the cramps, but what I got was the flushed body, rapid heart beat (like a humming bird I swear), and was covered in sweat so thick the shower couldn't help me. There isn't much you can do but lay down for an hour or so and just let the wave pass, take some tiny sips of water, and just hold on. I know I say this often, but think before you put anything into your mouth, and if someone else makes your coffee, or tea.... keep an eye on that sugar, because the Dumping is just not worth that extra teaspoon.