Why is your depression worse now than it was before?
Well scientifically I couldn't tell you. Emotionally, physically, and relationship wise, for me I'll fill you in.
Today I was looking for plastic surgeons. To fix the extra skin on my stomach, legs, arms, and most depressingly to me, my breasts. Initially it was only a breast refill I NEEDED to be happy, but then I caught a glimpse of the excess skin on my back, my stomach, my arms, and I cried for an hour on the bathroom floor.
I hated myself before the massive weight loss, I hate myself more now. I look like a melted candle. Misshapen, warped, hideous.
Weight loss will NOT make you happy, in fact, it will likely worsen depression if you have it. It is not the end all, sure it will help your general health, and mobility, but it has its downside too. You see people for the shallow jerks they are. People who never ever gave you the time of day before, are suddenly interested. Store clerks treat you better as a skinny person, you get more offers of help from people. More people smile at you on the street, and the people who used to drive by and call you a fat cow, now whistle at you and make you feel ashamed.
The only lesson I have for you here, is be happy with you BEFORE you change yourself, because if you aren't nothing will ever "fix" you.
